Reconciliation: Step by Step

It will help your child to feel more at ease if you practice a role-play of the sacrament before they celebrate it for the first time with a priest. (It might help you feel more at ease too, if it’s been a long time since your last Reconciliation and you choose to return to the sacrament yourself!)

Follow the steps below, with you playing the role of the priest, and prompting your child at each step.

Greeting

The child enters the room and chooses whether they prefer to sit in a chair and face the priest or kneel behind a screen where the priest cannot see them.

When the child comes in, the priest welcomes them warmly. He may say: "Peace be with you," in which case the child responds "And with your spirit."

Next, make the sign of the cross together while saying: "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

The priest will use these or similar words, inviting the child to trust God: "May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy."

The child responds: Amen.

Optional: The priest may read a passage from the Bible highlighting God’s love and forgiveness.

Confession of Sins

Child: "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession." (In later confessions, say how long it has been since you last received the sacrament.)

The child then tells the priest the sins they are aware of. When you role play, your child may or may not choose to tell you what they plan to share with the priest. Remind them that they can share with you if they’d like, but if they prefer not to, the priest is bound to secrecy and can never tell you or another person what they have shared.

The priest may ask questions for clarity and/or talk a little bit, giving advice or suggestions. As you role play, be mindful not to slip into a parental teaching or disciplining role. Your task now is to listen to the child non-judgmentally and with compassion.

The priest will ask the child to do a penance, which may be to say some prayers, do something loving for someone in particular, and/or do something to repair the harm done.

Act of Contrition

The priest will encourage the child to make an Act of Contrition. The child may take a copy of this Act of Contrition in to recite then, or the priest may help the child through a memorized form of it. Different versions can be found here.

Absolution

The priest extends his hands over the penitent's head and says:

God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Child: Amen.

Dismissal

The priest will close with a brief dismissal such as:

The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.

Child: Amen.

As the child takes their leave from the priest, they should leave the door open for the next person.

Penance

The child should complete their penance as soon as possible after the sacrament.